Under the oak

Silent footsteps thud across the pavement, as he paces the now-cobblestone streets, one of the many new roads he now has to walk. Myrth and laughter from nearby pubs penetrate his ears, but not quite enough to dilute his thoughts, today racing back to that misty evening. The luminescence of the street lights was the moon, half-shy to show itself but still mustering enough brilliance to crack through the darkly colored leaves. The warmly lit pavement was a soft bed of grass, then seemingly a colorless haze fading into the distance, guarded by the blanket of moist air around it.

 "I'm gonna be here for you, y'know", she cracked a radiant smile, one he yearned to see after countless unsuccessful attempts to make her laugh with his corny jokes. It was almost nighttime, as they sat hand in hand against the trunk under the biggest oak in Central Park. It was where he felt so comfortable, almost safe, so close to being vulnerable, but what if it was fleeting? What if today's promises were just wonderfully gleaming illusions, meant to be broken at the break of dawn. He was leaving after all, far away from all sense of familiarity, from his safe bubbly little conception of the world, from the four walls that had protected him so far and were now crumbling. Protection wasn't enough anymore.

 A gentle breeze lapped across them, making her open hair flutter across her pearly grey eyes. "I'm scared." He squeezed her hand. "You're the only person I've told about it and it's still true. I still have anxiety attacks at night. I still doubt every single decision I make and overthink stuff others say to me, even with this air of indifference i put up. And now I'm actively choosing to be alone. What if it ends up being nothing like I imagined and all of that still doesn't go away? I won't even have you being my better half anymore." His voice was raspy as he breathed in the cool air. She sat up straight now, still holding onto him. "You won't" she concurred, "God knows facetime and texting doesn't do it for you." She paused, staring at the receding foliage. "I can't say I completely understand what it is you're searching for or what it is you wanna do, but I do know that this city isn't big on people who wanna write their own stories. Would be a shame if I lost the one guy who dares to be different in a herd." Her eyes shone, perhaps a trick of the moon, and yet seemed heavy, "All that stuff you think makes you weak, it really doesn't. That wonderful innocent confusion in your eyes, always trying to mask what's within. It’s a part of you." The breeze was stronger now, making the leaves rustle and fall to the shadowy green earth. "It makes you resilient and it can't stop your ingenuity because you never let it win completely, and I know you never will. You only let it show what everyone wants to see because you need to. It can't stop the guy I know, who's gonna stop at nothing to see and learn about the world with his own eyes."

 She stood up now, beckoning him to do the same. The breeze had stopped as the last leaf fell to the ground. The unexpected outburst had left him speechless, his heart hammering. "Understood", he managed. She finally let out a laugh, her chuckles echoing throughout the otherwise serene air. "Enough sweet talk, let's go back now." She offered her hand again. He's back on the cobblestone now, but so much else has changed. A few misunderstood texts and rumors were all it had taken to shatter their oaths. Their respective bubbles had left so little room for correspondence that eventually the volatile thread holding them together evaporated. He has found many new horizons, so many that he had never dreamt of back in blissful ignorance. He has discovered many things alien to him prior and his curiosity now begins to rest easy. And yet as he returns to that evening, he can't help but wonder, " It was you who made me see the beauty in what I thought were flaws. Then why was it also you who made me scared of falling in love again?"